the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
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