bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
