If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
