I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
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