so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
