did you get engaged???
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Randomize
