i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Randomize
