Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
