Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
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