my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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