I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
