You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
sick fucks of a feather flock together
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Randomize
