I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
I'm bleeding and have questions
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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