Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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