so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
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