Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
