The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
