Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
ttyl tear gas
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
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