I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Randomize
