its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
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