Buhtt sex?
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Randomize