so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
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