so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
