i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Randomize
