I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
try to milk me bitch
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