I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Say something about gay babies.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
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On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
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OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
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