SEEEEXXX PLEASE
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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