I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Randomize
