You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
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