Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Randomize
