Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
That's when you crack a 10am beer
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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