i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
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