Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Randomize
