please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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