I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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