She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Randomize
