Nicole vs. Life
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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