i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
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