I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
