so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Randomize
