I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
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