if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Randomize
