I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
This gyro tastes like lonliness
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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