Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
