Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
