I cannot find my penis.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.