No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Randomize
