Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
21 Dirty Secrets From Bachelor/Bachelorette Parties That Have Destroyed Marriages
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
23 Fathers Confess The Best Way They’ve Messed With Their Daughter’s Boyfriend
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".