forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Randomize