More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
