im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
where are my pants?
in the oven.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Randomize
