So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
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