Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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