3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Randomize
