Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
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