I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
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