He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Randomize
