One girl and one boy is just not enough.
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I just gargled with NyQuil
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Randomize
